Growing Pains

May 12th, 2009

(This article was originally published on 10/29/2008 at www.mybarackobama.com)

Today when my kindergartner got off the school bus, we were out in the yard planting some trees. She came over and started telling us about her day, and that it was the day of the school vote. My 17-year-old son - who is terribly frustrated to be missing this election - immediately asked her who she was voting for. When she said “McCain,” he actually dropped his shovel - and his jaw. After a sharp look from me, he managed to rein in his reaction and he asked her why. At this point our sweet, still unworldly little girl crumpled into tears and started crying so hard she couldn’t even tell us what had happened.

Half an hour later, curled up on the couch in a blanket and sipping hot cocoa, she told us that she was the only one in her class who wanted to vote for Obama. The other kids ganged up on her. When you’re in kindergarten, that’s bad enough, but as a parent with over 23 years of experience I know how to address that sort of situation. What followed, however, was a lot more difficult to handle.

The kids were arguing that if Obama was elected president, they wouldn’t be allowed to go shopping in the mall any more because it wouldn’t be safe. That people would be getting shot in movie theaters. And that all their families would be losing their jobs and spending all their money “on food stamps.” How do you explain to a six-year-old that these are racial stereotypes perpetuated by ignorant bigots? Especially when the children who passed these things along aren’t even bigots - yet. They’re just innocent parrots of whatever garbage is being discussed at their kitchen table.

At some point we’ll have to start discussing racial bias and bigotry, but I had hoped it could wait a little longer for this one, our youngest. She is the granddaughter of a black man and a white woman, her father is Guatemalan, but even if she were all of one race or another, just learning that there is hatred in the world shrinks each child’s soul.

She was ashamed to tell us that she had voted for McCain, and as she cried she told us she became confused during the school voting activity and that it all “felt bad.” For today we reassured her that it was just ‘practice,’ and that she will practice voting on presidential elections again in 4th grade, and 8th grade, and will finally vote in 12th, so she has plenty of time to learn how to do it well. I guess it’s never too soon to start practicing a life of thinking and considering, listening and sharing. But I guess we also have to accept that it’s never too soon to become aware of bigotry and hatred, ignorance, willful misinterpretation, and intolerance.  And that is hard for me to swallow.

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Retrieving Capitalism from its Extreme

May 12th, 2009

(This article was originally posted on www.mybarackobama.com on 11/4/2008).

The most important issue driving me to the polls today was the economy. Not as in “gee, the economy crashed, suddenly I think we better elect a new president,” but rather, my firm belief that our national understanding of our economic systems is negligent at best, and when that happens, those with the money and power to corrupt it are free to do so. Most economic theories have some merit when considered in their pure state (which would be virtually impossible to achieve). Likewise, any economic system can be bad if taken to its extreme - even capitalism. This is what we have seen occur in our own nation. I am a firm believer in capitalism. But we have been experiencing capitalism in its extreme, and I am not comfortable with that.  

Capitalism’s greatest merit is that it motivates people to contribute to the greater good in order to secure their own financial future. But the average worker, earning somewhere between $25,000 - $65,000 per year,  can not secure their own financial future on annual COLA raises and a 3% matching 401(k) alone. As the middle class struggled on and on through these disappointing years of trickle-down economics, their ability to participate in capitalism’s promise was taken away from them. When fewer and fewer people are able to participate in capitalism, capitalism no longer works as it is supposed to, and we have unsurprising results like market crashes, shrinking real incomes, and reduced overall cash flow.

 Those middle income people who fear Barack Obama and call him a socialist are reacting to manipulation by the Republican party, which has a vested interest in protecting those with very high incomes - even at the expense of their reliable but clearly middle-income base. In order to succumb to this manipulation, the base fails to understand capitalism, socialism, or appropriate federal support for select institutions, and in so doing works to secure their own dismal financial future.

 Though there are many reasons I am excited at the opportunity to vote for Obama, my belief that he will return us to a moderate, rational, healthy approach to capitalism is one of the big reasons. GObama.

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Sex by the Book

March 20th, 2008

There aren’t that many countries any more that are willing to send you to jail and keep you there for having sex (I have not done an official count of this, though I promise that I will do so tomorrow). America, however, is one of them. Particularly in the American South and Southeast, having consensual sex is a crime punishable by jail time – in some cases serious jail time. I have a friend who married a registered sex offender from Texas. Were we freaked? Not really. His offense was having a 16-year-old girlfriend when he was 18-years-old, and the consensual sex they engaged in got him thrown in jail for a few years.

Consensual sex laws vary by state, and nearly all of them are set at somewhere between the ages of 16 and 18. Teenagers accused of having consensual sex before the age established by the state have been punished in many places other than Texas. But Texas is particularly notorious for such prosecutions. Then again, Texas just likes throwing people in jail. And of course, killing them once they are there.

Interestingly, many states have different ages of consent depending on whether you are male or female. In Delaware, Idaho, Massachusetts, Montana, Utah, and Wyoming, you can have legal sex at 16 if you are female, but not until 18 if you are male. Presumably this is so those faster-maturing girls don’t leave their 2-years-older boyfriends squirming for too long. In the state of Montana a female can have consensual sex with a male when she is 16 years old, but not with another female until she’s 18. I can’t come up with an explanation for that one. In New Hampshire both males and females must wait until they are 16 years old to have consensual sex, unless they want to get married, in which case they can do so as young as 13 years old as long as they have parental permission. Oh wait – males have to be 14.

States don’t just legislate how old you have to be to have sex, some of them still regulate whether or not one can have gay or lesbian sex. In most of our lifetimes it was illegal for a black person and a white person to have sex (though only really enforced if the white half of that equation happened to be a woman). Prostitution (Eliot Spitzer being a rather noteworthy exception) is generally illegal for the selling party – 99 times out of 100 a woman. What is our country doing spending so much time and money legislating sex? Aren’t our lawmakers busy enough with our completely ineffective and grossly expensive drug war?

But I digress. What got me on this tangent? The intersection of our national sexual fixation with our national religion. I was reading a newspaper article about two 20-somethings who broke into (i.e., broke the latch on the door of) a little used church in MacClenny, Florida for the purpose of having sex in a sanctified space. They are still cooling their heels in jail a day later. They are being charged with damage to property, criminal mischief, and burglary. From what I can tell they didn’t steal anything, they broke the lock on the door, and they left their underwear laying around in the church. Stupid? Yes. Should they have to go in front of a judge and answer for their breach of a law? Yes. Dangerous? Perhaps only to their reputations. An offense worthy of keeping two young people in jail? Oh come on.

What’s got folks all upset is that these two young people wanted to have sex in a church (actually, in classic Eve fashion, the newspapers from that part of the country have laid the blame firmly at the 24-year-old woman’s feet – the poor 28-year-old guy was found “hiding in a crawl space under the church.” Well, Adam wasn’t that bright either, but at least he didn’t get the whole damn human race thrown out of the garden. Though if you think about it, if the price we pay is childbirth, I think they can start leaving chicks like this young lady alone already. The local television station, Channel 4 in Baker County, ran their headline news story under the banner Unholy Act.

If they had broken the lock on someone’s barn, someone’s garage, even someone’s little-used country house (and they weren’t in Texas), nobody would be in jail right now. But they broke the lock on sacred space. And not just anybody’s sacred space. Christian sacred space. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’d be willing to wager that a young couple breaking the lock on someone’s private tarot parlor, someone’s yoga studio, or near someone’s Buddhist altar to have sex wouldn’t be partaking of jail meals either. Still wrong. But not likely a jail-able offense.

Am I anti-Christian? Definitely not. I am pro-whatever-it-is-you-do-to-love-your-fellow-man-and-make-a-better-world-for-all-of-us. I don’t sit around worrying about the state of anybody else’s soul, but that’s only a prerequisite for some sects of Christianity anyway. No, my issue is three-fold.

  • As an American citizen I have an issue with using the law to enforce something as serious as jail-time for an infraction that, had it occurred in any other architectural structure, would likely not lead to jail time.
  • As a human being, I have an issue with society being so quick to treat sexuality and sexual behavior as fundamentally wrong - even “un-godlike.” Why would God give us something so incredibly awesome as sex if it wasn’t inherently good? And don’t tell me it’s for the purpose of having children, because I have three of those at home. If that were the reason then God is the most profound tease in the history of the Universe.
  • Finally, when will humanity tire of blaming women for all this sex? Clearly men don’t enjoy it, never engage in it, and are never the ones to come up with the idea for having it. Except, of course, when they do. The news media’s blaming of Crystal Rowland continued, when on their news broadcast they also said that Matthew Pearce’s family had been in to speak with him and he “wanted to apologize for his actions. He had been drinking that day and he really didn’t know what was going on.” No word from the Rowland camp, nor do I think it likely that there will be.

So. Miss Crystal Rowland and Mr. Matthew Pearce are a horny young couple with bad enough judgment to consider a minor breaking and entering charge a reasonable risk for a sexual dalliance. Not my choice of evening entertainment, but I’ve never considered shoplifting or dine-n-dash either. Nonetheless, could some of my North Central Florida readers please make up a couple of homemade picket signs and suggest to the Honorable Sheriff Gerald Gonzalez that he let those young folks go free?

    (c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Do You Even Know You’re Naked?

March 7th, 2008

Now I write, but for more than two decades I was the one responsible for the message, and the people who wrote and designed worked for me. Over the course of those years, I learned just how difficult it is to convey a need in such a way that everyone on the team could wrap both the mind and the emotions around it. In most cases, what passes for brand or message direction is insufficient, and the people who pay the price are the ones who are trying to write the copy, develop the graphics, and buy the media.

In time, I became good at conveying messages effectively. Once that happened, I was able to experience the greatness of talented copywriters and designers. Most people who enter the field of business media have a passion for it, and they thrive in an environment that offers great direction and welcomes not only their talent but also their input.

One type of business media personality, however, has bemused and confused me for my entire career. Sometimes it’s an art director, sometimes an account executive – at any rate, someone possessing authority. They produce a product that is superficially sexy, glossy, purports to be edgy, and is resolutely mundane. No amount of information regarding the intended customer’s needs, wants, or perspectives influences this person’s design direction. Customer awareness is not their concern.

I have theorized many times over the years about what would cause an otherwise talented individual to so completely ignore the customer perspective. I ultimately concluded that the individuals in question were working in a customer segment that bored them. Maybe they were serving jewelry store owners, or video store owners, or moms with small kids, when what they really wanted to be selling was haute couture or Hollywood.

Today I realized that my conclusion was wrong. I spent the day doing fashion trend analysis, and I encountered more mindless, customer unaware, superficially sexy, glossy, and mundane advertising in four hours than I could stomach. If the people actually selling haute couture and Hollywood are behaving in the same way as the people who I thought were behaving that way because they wanted to be selling haute couture or Hollywood, there must be a deeper reason.

I had to take a break from the fashion, so I picked up a business book and stumbled immediately upon a different theory as to why so many marketing communications make sense only to their creators. The book is Microtrends: The Small Forces Behind Tomorrow’s Big Changes, and the author is Mark Penn. Penn suggests that many marketing communications don’t make sense because they are based on the faulty premise that consumers are irrational, “misguided scatterbrains” who don’t know what they want or whether or not the promotion they are experiencing is good or bad.

According to this premise the egotistical marketer designs for his or her own pleasure, and any communication that is done solely for the self is just another form of self-abuse (to use a polite – if somewhat Catholic - euphemism). If nobody else is actually involved, then it stands to reason that nobody else actually feels anything.

Unfortunately, the public plays a role in this ongoing farce. It’s a modern-day Emperor’s New Clothes. If you will recall, the Emperor in the Hans Christian Anderson story goes to a pair of con artists for new clothing. The con artists tell the Emperor that the fabric from which they will make his new clothes is so fine and rare that only people of exceptional refinement and intelligence can see it. The Emperor sends his valet to evaluate the clothes before the final fitting. The valet, unable to see the clothes himself, will not admit that he is not refined or intelligent enough to see them. So he proclaims their beauty in his report to his boss. The Emperor is also unable to see the clothing and unable to disclose (pardon the pun) his lack of vision. So he walks naked through the streets, with everyone in the kingdom unwilling to acknowledge their Emperor’s nakedness for fear of exposing their own frailty. Only a child has the courage to shout out the obvious fact that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all.

I don’t watch much television, but a few weeks ago I was watching a movie with my teenage and young adult kids. After watching a few completely incomprehensible advertisements (quick disclaimer – I also saw a lot of great advertising that night), I finally asked my kids to explain what the ads meant. Their response was that they had no idea. My kids are hardly sheltered, and mom-ish pride aside, they seem to be pretty hip.

“Do you think anyone understands these ads?” I asked.

“I doubt it,” replied my son. “They’re just stupid.” Sentiments with which my daughter agreed.

A 30-second ad during American Idol costs $620,000. To run the same ad during Desperate Housewives costs $324,000. Survivor is a bargain at $296,000. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I have a hard time understanding the wholesale waste of those dollars on advertising that discounts the intelligence of the viewers and invites us all to participate in pretending that the Emperor is wearing clothes.

There’s really nothing to be done about it, because for every bright, intelligent, customer-focused advertising director there will be a self-centered, superficial Hollywood wanna-be with vapid ideas. The only value in this observation is for each one of us. When we are tempted to believe that we are smarter than our customers, when we find ourselves thinking that our customers are boring, or irritating, or simply pedestrian, there is a very good chance that we are about to waste a lot of money. Our own.

As Mark Penn points out in his book, the average Joe is actually pretty smart, making intelligent decisions about how to spend their money and regarding who deserves their loyalty. We discount our customers at our own peril.

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Pretty Is As Pretty Does

March 6th, 2008

The February 25, 2008 issue of Newsweek offers a frightening little insight into the new world of families and child rearing in an innocuous article regarding airbrushing. It seems that parents of grade-schoolers are increasingly requesting airbrush services on their little wonders’ class portraits.

I have distinct memories of my class portraits. I didn’t like brushing my hair, and all of my photos between the 2nd and 4th grades betrayed me with a subtle little lump just above and behind my left ear. In 1st grade I got chickenpox, and had recovered sufficiently enough to return to school – just before the lady from Timeless Images showed up with her tripod and green rug. Some people struggle with remembering when they got the chickenpox, but I only have to consult my 1st grade class portrait. There was the year I got glasses (4th grade), the year I had stitches in my chin (5th), and the year I was first allowed to wear mascara (6th). An entire personal history translated with clarity through my awkward class photos.

In the Newsweek article a Legacy Photographer named Kelly Price said, “People want their kids to look perfect rather than teach them to appreciate their flaws.” She goes on to say that she fears if she asked for her 12-year-old daughter’s photo to be retouched, she would be sending a message of insufficiency to that child. The article quotes a psychoanalyst named Susie Orbach as saying “The rise in airbrushing is a byproduct of a culture consumed with the idea that the body is perfectible.”

When my now 23-year-old daughter first realized she had buck teeth – the kind of sudden awareness that can crush a 10-year-old – I was able to show her pictures of me at the same age and with the same buck teeth. Then I showed her my class portrait from 8th grade – the one with the braces and the headgear. That – and a promise that head gear was rarely employed any longer – comforted her. I’m sure it didn’t hurt that she also saw the massive pimple just over my right eye in that same 8th grade photo – a reassurance that one day she, too, would enjoy pimple-free skin again.

I am disconcerted. I’m not sure if it’s the matter of being a part of a society that is “consumed with the idea that the body is perfectible,” or if my concern is related to the idea of what a perfect body should be. We live in a culture that idolizes the 15-year-old female form – no hips, and an ability to show 6″ of flesh below the navel without disclosing the presence of pubic hair. When I was a teenager it was socially risky to be larger than a size 7. Our children are under far greater pressure today, not only to be a much smaller size, but also to be self-conscious at a much younger age.

Our role as parents is to help our children see beauty in all its forms and to recognize their own inherent beauty – inclusive of any temporary or permanent perceived flaws. When we cave in to society’s superficial notions of what makes an attractive person we relinquish our ability to be authentic. A terrible sacrifice.

Many parents would assert that they ask for airbrushing in an attempt to protect their children from discomfort and dissatisfaction. But is this truly a service to them? Sparing our children the experience of discomfort only delays the time when they must confront it head on. Such delay can rob them of the skills necessary to face their frailties with humor or to muster the courage and strength to recover from a disappointment.

I remember scheduling my Senior Portrait. I was acutely conscious of how expensive it would be, and I asked my mom why the photos cost so much. Her reply was that, unlike my class portraits in years past, the senior photo would be taken in a studio with special lighting and photo retouching services. Not having any prior experience of that type of photography, I questioned the value of spending so much money. Her response? “Oh honey, won’t it be fun to have just one photo that makes you look like someone in a magazine ad? Something you’ll always hold on to because it’s your last class photo?”

It was. And I did. But in all the years since, I have gotten much more value out of those years of class photos that showed me precisely as I was.

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

(bowing low to The Economist) Great Minds Like a Think

February 14th, 2008

You’ve read Lee Siegel, the New York-based critic who writes for Harpers, The Nation, The Atlantic Monthly, and The New Republic (again). He writes erudite, prickly prose on the subject of American culture – or what counts for it. At one point the New York Times referred to him as “one of the most eloquent and acid-tongued critics in the country.” In a nation that enjoys a bit of battering of our neighbor — and which lives by the adage if you’re so smart why ain’t you rich? — even the most liberal-minded of us get both an intellectual thrill and an ignoble shiver reading his work.

Though I highly recommend him for his wit and range, his personal story is a cautionary tale. In 2006 he was suspended from his role at The New Republic for, well, what? Misleading comments, I believe it was. Siegel didn’t break any rules, nor certainly any laws. But he had established an alter-ego that attacked negative commentators on his blog. This alter-ego, known as sprezzatura, was an ardent defender of Siegel, Siegel’s wit, and Siegel’s shining intelligence. OK, so what, right? He’s a little insecure.

The situation was disturbing, but not for the reasons most people pointed to. Most commonly, people expressed their disgust at how stupid it was, how egotistical it was, and ultimately, at what a baby Siegel was. The last comment approaches the reason it was appropriate that Siegel was temporarily suspended.

So what if the critic can’t take criticism — that’s a weakness that hounds far too many people to make it interesting. The problem was that he was hypocritical at a level that was a betrayal of his true audience. The role of critic suggests intellectual rigor and standards. Critical thinking is the careful analysis of whatever it is we are evaluating, getting past emotions, reactions, historical baggage, psychology, bias, enculturation — all of the muck that clouds our thinking and prevents us from seeing reality in the clearest possible light. Not that most modern critics actually perform that role for us, but we wish they would. We need them to. And Siegel is capable of operating at the highest levels of intellectual criticism.

Why do I care about something that that is, by American standards, ancient history? Because of something a friend of mine said tonight. My friend Mark and I were talking about billboards in the UK, and how much we appreciate them. In the United States, billboard writers obviously go through a process that, if you were a fly on the wall, would sound something like this:

Ad guy 1: Dude, we need another billboard for our very difficult client.

Ad guy 2: Damn. Didn’t we just finish a bunch of billboards for them?

Ad guy 1: Yeah. I hate doing billboards.

Important advertising note. Billboards must be able to deliver a message in less than 3 seconds at roughly 55 mph. Ad guys hate to be responsible for traffic deaths. Well, we assume so anyway.

Ad guy 1: OK, what’s the simplest way we can say “get your new muffler at Dan’s Auto Haus?”

Ad guy 2: Can’t just we say that?

Ad guy 1: No. People don’t read that fast. We still have to have room for their website and maybe a phone number.

Ad guy 2: OK, how about, “Mufflers. Dans. www.dansautohaus.com.”

Ad guy 1: They might think we’re advertising, like, mittens or something.

Ad guy 2: It’s summer.

Ad guy 1: Whatever. I don’t think it will work.

Ad guy 2: OK, what about, “Noisy car? Dan’s Mufflers.”

Ad guy 1: They’ll think it’s just a muffler shop. Dan won’t like that.

You get the picture. Eventually the ad guys consult a reference book for children’s writing and choose three words from the kindergarten list, and that’s what passes for advertising in this country.

In the UK, billboards are vexing. Not only are you trying not to wipe out the left side of your car every time you turn the corner and jumping when people pop out at you from the wrong side of the street, but your head is swimming with the last three billboards you read that you still haven’t made sense of. UK billboards cater to the thinkers in their society, which they obviously assume are many, given how democratic they are with their puzzling advertising.

Are American advertising firms dumbing everything down because Americans are lazy thinkers, or are Americans lazy thinkers because we are confronted — no, assaulted — by a constant barrage of stupidity? Please, don’t try to answer that – it’s a chicken-and-egg thing.

It’s important to read Lee Siegel because he’s capable of – and for the most part, delivers – criticism filled with intellectual honesty. I’m pretty sure I never want him to take on one of my publications, because as thick-skinned as I am, I’ve probably not evolved to the point where I’m ready to read his take on my work without a therapist by my side. Still, he challenges his readers to intellectual debate. This is an experience to which we have become unaccustomed. Siegel doesn’t cater to lazy thinkers. Indeed, he writes as if he expects us to be intelligent.

Lee Siegel should be completely forgiven for his past lapse (and yes, I realize that I am the one bringing it up again, but I couldn’t figure out another way to make my point). Seriously. If we’re being honest, we can all think of foolish things we have done that disgraced us but didn’t add any further damage to the human condition.

But Siegel does have a responsibility that is very similar to that of any parent. We know that parents must set a good example for their children. Parental example is something children count on to feel confident. Parental example is the ballast each child needs while bobbing about in the wakes of peer pressure, demoralizing teachers, and Ad guys 1 and 2.

Those of us who seek a more intellectual discourse are dependent on cultural leaders - of all types – to maintain a certain quality of critical thought. This is a completely reciprocal responsibility (did you think you were off the hook?). The only way to create a rigorous intellectualism for ourselves is to give it first to others, and by doing so we are able to receive the thing we want. That’s right – intellectualism is not a zero sum game. The only way we can have it is to give it away. That requires dialogue. Which requires risk. Which was Siegel’s failure. Shared by the rest of us, though most of us don’t have to fail in such a public forum.

Perhaps Ad guys 1 and 2 are not really ready for this. But I suggest we give them the benefit of the doubt. If enough of us gave intellectual discourse away – trusting everyone around us not to be lazy thinkers – perhaps we would discover ourselves, once again, a country that thinks. I’d wager it would do a lot more for our economy than another cut in the Fed Funds Rate or a bunch of $300 rebates.

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Pop Gossip and Accountability

February 13th, 2008

Erma Bombeck was a genius. Whenever I am seeking a wise bon mot – particularly as it relates to popular culture – I turn to her. I did so today, and as usual, I found what I was looking for.

“Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip.”

There was a time when famous people were famous for doing something (New York society columns notwithstanding). Now we have K-Fed and Paris Hilton – both of whose entire claim to fame rests on their ability to generate gossip. The Hollywood gossip trade is big business. Just yesterday I heard my six-year-old say – with no small measure of authority – that Jennifer Lopez was having twins. Our neighbor down the street is pregnant, and I’m pretty sure our little one hasn’t even noticed. But she knows about J-Lo. And her television time is limited to 30 minutes each day!

My 22-year-old was sitting at the computer and said, “Good grief. Why don’t they just leave Britney alone? Can’t they see she’s going to kill herself if they keep this up?” I walked over and looked at the computer monitor, and sure enough, People Magazine’s web-site was loaded, delivering the by-the-minute Britney news they make so much money on.

I know it was kind of harsh, but I had to make a point. I said, “Yes, but it’s your fault.”

“What?” She started laughing, shaking her head. Just another crazy weird thing for mom to say.

“No, I mean it. It’s your fault.”

“Right. And I assume you’re going to explain how it could possibly be my fault.”

“Because you clicked on that headline. And everyone who clicks on that headline tells People Magazine they want more news about that poor girl.”

“But there are millions of us looking at Britney news!”

My point. What a strange place for a culture to be. Our compulsion for bad news fuels an entire industry made up of photographers, print magazines, cable magazines, and internet sites. Any overly aggressive photographer with a camera and no need for sleep can earn upwards of $300,000 per year taking pictures of pop stars leaving Vons with their weekly groceries. When did America notice that the writers were on strike? Not until the strike undermined the awards shows and all those great pictures of stars on the red carpet wearing designer gowns. Why didn’t America notice? Because we’re so busy watching reality TV, which doesn’t require writers (at least most don’t). Why are we watching reality TV? Because it gives us a chance to watch other people behave badly and become stars in direct proportion to the gossip they generate.

Maybe we are so absorbed in these shows because we can picture ourselves as one of the regular people on a reality program, but not as Julia Roberts. Lucky children have parents who tell them how special they are. Somehow, the meaning gets distorted. We are a nation of people who believe they would make a great novelist (82% of adults polled) but who don’t actually write them (2% of adults). We are a nation of people who believe we could be a rock star if we could just get a lucky break, despite the evidence viewed on American Idol each week. So perhaps reality TV and celebrity gossip feed the flicker of hope buried in each not-so-special adult breast.

Or maybe it’s what Britney’s erstwhile husband said – that people feel good watching two celebrities (well, one celebrity and one pre-nup) go through a rough divorce, because it make the average folks feel more normal.

My daughter closed the People Magazine website window, and I doubt she’ll open it for Britney news again. Is it strange to think that one person’s choices could make the difference in that poor pop-star’s life? Not at all. We have huge social issues before us, and the only way we’ll make a dent in any of them is one click at a time.

 (c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Truth: Specialty of the Humble

February 10th, 2008

Most men indeed, as well as most sects in religion, think themselves in possession of all truth, and that wherever others differ from them, it is so far error.

—Ben Franklin, Autobiographical Writings (last speech)

It is a complicated world in which we live. We require conviction about certain things in order to center ourselves and make our way. Yet those same convictions sometimes blind us to a greater truth or understanding about life, love, and God.

 

Most of us do not understand the history of our religions, the social contexts in which our religions were developed, and the ways in which all sacred texts have been manipulated by various kings, religious leaders, emperors, and tribal chieftans to support their personal political agendas. We understand the religious history that was taught to us by our parents, their parents, and their parents’ parents, and we accept this verbal history as the truth.

 

It’s no small surprise that true biblical scholars – not divinity students, but scholars of the bible and its history – go through a crisis of faith at some point in their studies. They learn how fallible the socially accepted religious texts are. Those who continue to have faith do so because they choose to believe, in spite of all the human error and meddling. What a powerful faith theirs is, to choose not from denial, but from a place of light (truth) and spiritual hope.

 

We hide behind our beliefs, afraid to challenge or question them. Psychologically that makes sense. If we suspect our spouse is cheating on us sexually, we go through a phase of not wanting to know. The truth can be difficult and painful because it may cause change. Some people choose to never confront the truth of their spouse’s infidelity, and live instead in a state of denial and suppressed pain.

 

If we have chosen not to confront the infidelity, then woe to the well-meaning (or not-so-well-meaning) friend who points it out to us. Their recognition of the truth means that we must deal with it, and if we have used denial to create a false reality, we don’t appreciate someone else shining a light on it.

 

All of us hide behind denial to some extent. It’s a complicated world that presents us with too many contradictions. One person’s acceptance of nudity is another person’s violation of modesty. One family’s arranged marriage for the strengthening of family ties and responsibilities is another person’s violation of marriage as an institution dependent on love. One person’s pacifism is another person’s weakness. One person’s polygamy is another person’s violation of the sanctity of marriage. One person’s martyrdom is a violation of another’s sense of God’s peace.

 

Cultural norms and mores simplify life. Merely 200 years ago nearly every human being lived within a community which enjoyed the simplicity of entirely shared values. Well, that’s not quite true. For instance, in most western cultures 200 years ago, if a married woman was miserable – whether she was beaten , taken for granted, or anywhere in between – she could not leave her marriage. She couldn’t own land, hold a job, or vote. So whether she shared the norms and mores or not was irrelevant – she had to pretend to in order to maintain what little place she had in society. Slavery has been part of the world since time immemorial, continuing today. Still, most communities 200 years ago benefited from general sharing of cultural values.

 

As the world has become more integrated, we experience challenges to our beliefs and values. The Archbishop of Canterbury recently advanced an argument that England should consider Sharia law for the purposes of negotiating marital and civilian disputes. The world immediately split over his statement – some suggesting that social cohesion is not possible when multiple legal systems are contending for primacy, and others arguing that it’s about time western culture recognized that the Muslims within their cultures require Sharia law to function. Who is right? As the Archbishop of Canterbury has learned, even raising the question of how to accommodate religious views and rights within a secular society can have grave implications for one’s career.

 

State by painful State the US has been debating whether or not gay couples should have the same rights under the law as married couples. Proponents of the bills argue that gay couples should not have to worry about whether or not they will be able to visit their loved one in a hospital, make medical decisions when necessary, or maintain their joint property after a loved one’s death. Opponents of the bills argue that gay marriage mocks the sanctity of heterosexual marriage and that the fabric of society will be permanently torn if gay unions are legally recognized. Who is right?

 

In 1955 Robert Green Ingersoll said:

“Whenever a man believes that he has the exact truth from God, there is in that man no spirit of compromise. He has not the modesty born of the imperfections of human nature; he has the arrogance of theological certainty and the tyranny born of ignorant assurance. Believing himself to be the slave of god, he imitates his master, and of all tyrants, the worst is a slave in power.”

 

There is room for all of us, whether believers or non-believers, to recognize a certain personal responsibility in Ingersoll’s challenge. The challenge is this:

 

We cannot simultaneously uphold our own fundamental rightness and offer genuine respect to human beings who believe differently than us. The two positions are mutually exclusive. We can condescendingly agree to accept that the other person has a different opinion, but that is not the same as valuing that person equally to ourselves.

 

If we wish to take no risks with our salvation, our only hope is to choose to see the Godliness in every other human being, and to strive to understand how their Godliness leads them to believe differently than we do. We cannot condemn another person without condemning ourselves. We cannot judge another person without likewise turning our judgment on ourselves. If we are among those who believe in God, how egotistical it is to believe that God requires our judgment of His other children to make His world whole? Don’t we think He can handle that aspect Himself?

 

If we are not worried about salvation because we don’t believe in God or a hereafter, our only hope in life is to learn as much as we can from every other human being we encounter, because this one life is the only one we’ve got and the only way to live it to the fullest would be to allow its fullness to live in us.

 

One sure path to the truth is to be willing to view our own beliefs with as much skepticism as we view the beliefs of others. An even surer path to the truth is to challenge all of our systems, our laws, and our social structures to uplift and uphold the dignity and supreme worth of every human being. In every choice we make, if we would stop to consider the worth and dignity of those involved – and not just our own views of how the world should work – I believe that we would consistently make better choices.

 

In 1902 William James lamented that out of fanaticism “crusades have been preached and massacres instigated for no other reason than to remove a fancied slight upon the God.” History does not provide an example of it, but can’t you imagine a world where all people are seekers of truth and clear thinking? It would be impossible to wage a war, starve a child, beat a woman, or cheat a friend if the only enculturation we knew was to shine the light of equality and love on every person we met.

 

No one of us is more special than any other. But we could be incredibly special together if we put our minds – and not our blindered beliefs – to the task.

 

(c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

And Now for an African American First Lady

February 5th, 2008

Presidential party caucus day has arrived for many of us, and it brings with it a sobering reflection on how the media chooses to exercise its power to persuade. Even more sobering is the related reflection on how we choose to exercise our power to think.

My city’s less-than-intellectual newspaper has been distracted through much of the pre-election season by our governor’s bid for the Democratic nomination. Not that he was ever a viable candidate, but he was ours and we were treated to interminably long months of evaluating his every expression and calorie. Since he dropped out of the race the newspaper’s ability to shift gears and focus on the larger, more relevant contest has been notably impaired. If our fair citizens know anything about the other candidates, it is due to our own resourcefulness, and not because the newspaper has done an adequate job of reporting on them.

So this morning it was with some surprise that I saw pictures of Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama splashed across the front of one of the sections of the paper. What an interesting choice — no, what an interesting series of choices — were made in the construction of that section cover. Think of the questions that were asked and answered. Should we show the two candidates? Should we show the two spouses? Should we just show the two women? Which pictures (of the many dozens they likely have access to) should we show? Should we make them look smart? Angry? Animated? Peaceful? Should we show them with similar expressions, or different? The foundation for all of the answers to these questions is the underlying rationalization of why.

So here is my question. Why did the Albuquerque Journal choose to show Hillary and Michelle instead of Hillary and Barack? Why did the Journal show Hillary as somewhat removed, composed, peaceful, hands folded in front, but Michelle as directly in your face, eyes alight, mouth wide open? What was the purpose?

The average reader may not stop to reflect that Michelle Obama has a B.A. in Sociology from Princeton, and a Harvard Law Degree. They probably don’t know that she worked for a number of years in corporate law at a major Chicago intellectual property firm, or that in 1991 she embarked upon a life of public service. She was an assistant to the mayor of Chicago, and the City of Chicago’s assistant commissioner for planning and development. In 1993 she became the founding executive director of Public Allies Chicago, a leadership training institute that helps young adults develop skills for careers in the public sector. In 1996 she joined the University of Chicago as associate dean of student services, and she developed the University’s first community service program. Michelle also served as executive director of community and external affairs until 2005, when she was appointed vice president of community and external affairs at the University of Chicago Medical Center. She also managed the business diversity program, and fostered the University of Chicago’s relationship with the surrounding community. Michelle Obama has been a tireless and passionate organizing force for public good in one of our nation’s largest cities for nearly 20 years.

I imagine that the Albuquerque Journal does not expect most of their readers to know this information or to stop and reflect on it. The reaction they likely anticipated  is the emotional reaction of the simple majority of white people who do not have a black female friend or colleague. Americans are not only considering the prospect of a black president, but of a black first lady. What knowledge, experience, and sensibility do we have to give this consideration its due?

Ultimately, the responsibility for our impressions lies with us — not the newspaper, not Fox or CNN, not our spouse, or some blog. Only ourselves. But thinking is not the same as perceiving. Thinking is powerful, evaluative, fundamentally creative. Perceiving is shackled by our emotions, our baggage, our fears and our wants. When we think with our perceptions we are not thinking at all – we’re just feeling.

I hope this nation can pull it together in time. I imagine a world where a critical mass of people are amassing critical thought. If we don’t take responsibility for our thinking — soon — we will have to take responsibility for the mess that ensues.

Today I voted for Obama. It wasn’t an easy choice, because I believe that both Obama and Hillary (interesting, isn’t it, that as a society we’ve selected the first name for one and the last name for the other? What does that mean?) can handle the presidency and do a good job. Once the caucuses are over I will support the winner with time and resources. But today I was shaken. I like to think that I am a more rational, more careful thinker than most. But perhaps today I simply benefited from a lifelong influence of strong black women. If the trigger had been something different, would I have responded with perception rather than thinking?

A reality based on thinking is bound to be better than a reality based on perception. It’s time for us to think our way to a new reality, by dismantling one perception at a time.

 (c) 2008. Andrea M. Hill

Home School – Going for the Least Damage, When the Most Good Isn’t an Option

February 1st, 2008

We’re home-schooling our kindergartner. No, we’re not fundamentalists (of any sort), separatists, public school antagonists, or shiftless. We just don’t know where we’ll be living in the next few weeks.

 

No, we’re not homeless.

 

We put our house on the market in July. July, 2007, the month the housing market imploded, sending would-be homebuyers everywhere running for the exits, or at least running for their latest FICO score. Suddenly the world of easy credit disappeared, and with it went the era of thinking one could sell their house in something less than five months. But that’s a topic for another day, because right now, we’re talking about home-schooling a kindergartner.

 

In July, our five-year-old was on track for entering kindergarten in less than five weeks. Kindergarten would not have been the significant milestone it was for our older children, who are 22 and 16. When I gave birth to the two older children I quit my job and worked from home for the first three years, and we had a nanny. So when the older kids entered kindergarten, it was an entirely new experience. When our six-year-old was born (somewhat of a surprise), I was the CEO of a mid-sized corporation. We kept her out of daycare for the first year by juggling schedules, after which she started attending day-care for half-days. When I ended my 11-year stint with that company in July, our little one had been in school half-days for four of her five years. We were all delighted to take a break.

 

Then we decided to move across the country, and we put our house on the market. What to do about kindergarten? We didn’t know if we should start her, then yank her out five weeks later (we were highly optimistic despite the daily gloom in the Wall Street Journal), or if we should hold off and start kindergarten in our new home. We opted for the latter. We bought books with titles like “What Your Kindergartner Needs to Know” and “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons,” and we began a daily playtime that included reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic.

 

From our little one’s perspective, it has been a blast. Every morning she dances around impatiently until it’s time to start school. She has now had nearly seven months of staying at home every day, hanging out with her family, and attending school in my home office. We’re worried that she will not be enthusiastic about attending real school when the time comes.

 

From my perspective, it has been a challenge. Apparently my skills as a businesswoman are not the same ones required to provide a kindergarten education. I am exhausted at the end of each 2-hour lesson. Did I push too hard? Not push enough? Is she making the appropriate progress? You know – the usual parental questions that always come back to the core issue — how badly am I ruining my child?

 

I was always relieved to be able to send my older children off to school each day. It was a comfort to know they were someone else’s responsibility for the next six hours, and that that somebody else was far more capable than I of preparing my child’s mind for the rigors of the future. Once we moved to the southern state in which we currently live (and are moving away from), that relief turned to constant anxiety. The schools are a huge disappointment. The community is small enough that you have to know someone to get into the very limited number of non-parochial private schools (we didn’t), and I really don’t think most parents – no matter how educated we are – are the best option for educating their own children. So the only option was to turn my children over to someone else’s responsibility each day, but no longer with the comfort of believing they were in better hands than my own.

 

My older children have done fine, due to their strong personalities and undauntable natures. But both of them chose to test out of high school early and proceed with college, rather than remain in the quasi-violent holding tanks that our community calls school. And no doubt that played a strong role in our decision that our youngest would have nothing to do with the schools in this community. When she enters school, it will be in truly top-notch public schools (far from being a public-school antagonist, I am an incredibly strong believer in the system, though it has been damaged so greatly by no-child-gets-ahead and prior administration neglect and abuses that one wonders what we can do to salvage it).

 

But in the meantime, I am gaining tremendous appreciation for those dedicated souls who throw themselves to the kindergarten gods each autumn, to embark on yet another season of teaching them social skills, reading, writing, and creativity. Without ruining them.

 

(c) 2008.  Andrea Hill